I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Randomize
