peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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