How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Drunk is not a location!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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