I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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