i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
