if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
