so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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