I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
