So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
