uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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