I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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