Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
