Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
i think my cat just said my name.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
