WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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