You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
