Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
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