just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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