Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
