My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
