You're so nebulous sometimes
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
