respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
