So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
