Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
they need to just BURY HIM!
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
