um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
