I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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