dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize