were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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