Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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