Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
