You're a womanizer and a bitch.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
