I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
