Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
