I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Randomize
