I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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