This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
