You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
