I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
