have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
this boner is exhausting
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
two words...techno handjob
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
