We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
