Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
We got so high we made milksteak
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
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And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize