If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
