i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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