My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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