Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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