Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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