Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
