Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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