So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
as a side note pls kill me
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize