Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
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Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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