I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
