Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
