What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
