And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
