do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
