i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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