Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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