I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
