He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
