he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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