Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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