It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
