ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
